Infected! The Email From Hell
John Robinson was an ordinary guy, a regular Joe who ran his own business without a hitch. But then one night he was bitten by an invisible being from another dimension, and a deadly infection took over his brain. Every night he would wake up, stumble into the spare room and then type out another pointless marketing email to his customers. They would soon learn to hate subject lines like “This is the best deal of all time!!!” and “Save a million dollars :)!!!!!”, and unsubscribe from his mailing list.
Soon he was broke, his company was in ruins and his wife had left him for a zombie called Stuart. He was… Infected.
They wore beige shirts. They had beige hair. And they were hungry for blood… or, at a push, money. On January 31 – they struck. From Aberdeen to Cornwall they marauded the land looking for victims, sending out their terrifying threats and fines to small businesses who had not filled in their self-assessment forms on time. Some struggled, others begged for mercy, but the beige assassins devoured their victims, drowning them in a sea of brown envelopes and ever-more-threatening blue letters. And all because people had put off filling in their tax form on time.
Night Of The Living Debt
Jeff was owed thousands. But he didn’t like to make a fuss. He thought his suppliers would pay him but week after week he never got on the phone and chased up the money. Soon, creditors were knocking on his door. He despaired and finally he picked up the phone and demanded his money, but by then it was too late and the bank repossessed his house. The debt was simply too big, and cashflow had killed his business.
2001: A Workspace Oddity
Working from home was Dave’s dream. But then the madness set in. Instead of popping out to meet his ex-workmates for a pint or going for a walk during the day he carried on working…and working. Then his computer started controlling him. “David, do not go for a coffee with your old boss – do your accounts”, then… “David, I have told you before, I don’t like you taking the day off – you must stay here and work” and finally, “David. You are my slave. Input last year’s sales, and do not ring your mum".
Terrifying stuff. Repeat to yourself “it’s only a movie, it's only a movie”.
And remember, just don’t make the same mistakes and end up starring in the sequels…
Happy Halloween!
