It hit me recently that my approach has been “Learn it until you earn it”. Take every opportunity to listen, observe and ask questions of people you respect. Successful people. People who are doing it and getting results. Admitting that I have much to learn has opened more doors for me than “faking it” would have done; indeed the very whiff of insincerity, of a fake, would have bolted closed many doors – permanently.
We hear and read a great deal about portraying an image of confidence, of the importance of making the right impression, of mixing with the people we aspire to. What fascinates me is that very little of this is written by people who have actually achieved success by faking it. They tell us, with great authority, that by always giving a positive impression of our business, we will attract more business; they claim that wearing expensive watches or an impeccable suit will let you into the inner circle of key people that will change your world.
My experience has been that when you are open and honest with other business people, they respect you for it. They often open up about their own reality when you are open to sharing yours. Relationships are created based on trust and mutual understanding for each other’s position and will therefore last longer and produce greater results.
It is lack of self-belief, or self-confidence, that is likely to persuade you to “fake it ’till you make it” and as you do, you will reinforce your own belief that you are not good enough, not in the same league – you have to fake it. So how do you get self-confidence without faking it? You learn it until you earn it. Here are some really simple steps to start, today:
1) Find out what you are great at. Focussing on our weaknesses simply wastes time we could be investing in our strengths. Write out your key strengths – the things you do really well and enjoy doing.
2) Pick one thing you want to be better at. One thing that will increase the results in your business, one thing you feel uncomfortable or inadequate doing right now.
3) Identify an authentic example. Look at your peers, your networks, your friends and associates and pick the person who is shining out as exceptional in the key area you want to improve.
4) Learn it until you earn it. Learn from them; follow their Tweets, their blogs and their example. Ask them for advice or their opinion. Take note and incorporate what you admire into your own working practices.
Letting someone know you respect and admire them is a gift – and an opportunity for you to be authentic and build lasting confidence and connections.
